Adeste fideles.

I received an email about this today. First of all, seeing the subject line "CHURCH-N-THE-HOOD Opens The Doors to Plainfield's First Hip-Hop Church" made me wonder, what kind of mailing list is this, and how did I get on it? But seeing as it said nothing about enlarging the penis I do not have or buying half-price software that I do not need, I opened the email.

Sure enough, on Friday, August 3rd, Plainfield, NJ will be celebrating the opening of a non-denominational ministry built around a "street-wise Christ theology," offering services such as educational arts ministry, LGBT community outreach, mentorship for ex-offenders, and (my favorite!) rap-activism.

What in the world?, I initially thought. Are they serious? But as I read on about their mission and their beliefs, I got to thinking. I went on a job interview today, and while I was talking to the managing editor of the company (who will hopefully become a co-worker in the near-to-nearer future), he referred to himself as a "recovering Roman Catholic." I laughed, and told him, yep, I'd consider myself the same. Catholicism is a big joke to us, thus my immediate response to think this hip-hop church is much of the same, a big joke. But wow...this Church-in-the-Hood is serious. They're looking past all the bullshit of organized religion, and they're seeing faith for what it's really worth: a connection to God, and making that connection relevant to life.

I'm not going to go on a religious tirade. I don't practice any faith, and I don't know if I believe in God. I was baptized and confirmed, but I believe in gay marriage. And I feel there probably is a god, but I don't think he or she requires (or even likes) having mindless Pavlovian drones sit and stand and kneel every Sunday morning. That isn't faith; eating a wafer once a week won't get you into heaven. Most people know this, and that's why the Catholic Church is struggling to bring in members under the age of fifty-nine. I have to respect Reverend LaDana Clark (a.k.a. LADYJAM), though. She's actually making religion appealing to the world. It's something, and Pope Benedict might want to take note of it.

By the way, I still have no idea how I got on CNTH's mailing list. Maybe it was that hip-hop benefit tour I did with R. Kelly to promote Trapped in the Closet back in '05. (INTERESTING NEWS TIDBIT: R. Kelly's middle name is Sylvester.)

P.S. - You can audition to be on the Church-n-the-Hood tour. I think my trumpet and I are going to try out.

P.P.S. - What did the pope order at the diner? Eggs Me. (Courtesy of Augie, via Mike.)

Per ardua ad astra.

This...this is amazing. Fantastic. Phenomenal. In fact, words cannot describe this video. Inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in Cebu, Philippines perform Michael Jackson's "Thriller." This brings rehab to a whole new level, and brings so many questions to mind, like: why?! And: if this is only their "practice," what in the world is the final product going to be?

If anything, this is the best argument against the death penalty I have ever seen in my life.

The CPDRC dancers have more videos (including a few numbers from Sister Act) but this is their best. If ever there was a time to use the annoying Internet abbreviation OMG, this would be it.

Ergo bibamus.

Let me start off by saying: LOOK AT THESE PILLOWS! They look like food. And not just any food, but breakfast food, the best food there is. (The sushi and the sweets pillows are also rather awesome.) When did pillows become such an exciting housewares item? I feel like the fun nature of these pillows is mocking the fact that I've been in my new apartment for two months now and I still don't have a couch.

Anyway, here's some news that I've picked up from various friends, various blogs, and various Google searches:

Drew Carey is going to replace Bob Barker as the host of The Price is Right. I don't know how I feel about this. I mean, Drew was okay as host of Who's Line is It Anyway? but he wasn't what made the show good; it was the improv and the actors that made it funny. (And the British version of the show was still better.) Bob Barker MAKES TPIR what it is. I will equate this shift to the dude from Home Improvement eventually taking over for the dude that committed suicide as host of Family Feud. Granted, Bob Barker is old and needs to retire--he's been getting more and more belligerent and annoyed with contestants who don't know what to do or can't make that friggin' wheel go all the way around with one spin. And no one wants to see him croak in the midst of the show's run, a la Rod Roddy. (Here's an AV Club interview with Rod, by the way.) But still...this is the end of an era for late-morning television.

Word on the street is that there's a Y: The Last Man movie in the making. (My friend Ker forecasts that Josh Harnett is going to play Yorick, but this makes us both sad for some reason. I'm pushing for Jason Schwartman.) This sparked my memory that Preacher was supposed to be made into a TV show on HBO, and I found this video clip saying that it still might be a go, despite former rumors that squelched the even more former rumors that the show was going to be produced. However, Mark Steven Johnson is slated to direct the first few episodes. That's the same guy who did Ghost Rider and Daredevil. Now, I didn't see Ghost Rider, but I actually OWN Daredevil. (This occurred as a by-product of wanting to own the old Adam West Batman movie--you know, the one with the exploding shark?--and wanting to help out my friend Sue, who was working at Sam Goody at the time, and got commissions from pre-orders. There was a promotion going on that if you pre-ordered Daredevil, you got Batman for free, so...yes.) I do own Daredevil, and therefore I know that it sucks. And I haven't heard many good things about Ghost Rider, either, so this makes me nervous about this possible Preacher show. I wonder how it feels to be Mr. Johnson; I mean, everyone thinks your work sucks. People bash on Daredevil all the time, and he had friggin' Nicholas Cage play Johnny Blaze, whom people bash all the time, too. Nothing seems to go right for poor Mr. Johnson. Yet, he's still plugging along, and has now moved his sights onto a more adult graphic novel. I hope the change is good for him; three strikes, and he'll be out of the realm of respect from comic book fans the world 'round.

Speaking of movies, The Simpsons Movie comes out on Friday, and the world is going crazy for it. How do I know this, other than the fact that 7-11s are turning into Kwik-E-Marts across the country? It's because I can't friggin' Simpsonize myself. I had Burger King for lunch yesterday (gross, I know--but tasty!) and on the bag was advertised the Simpsonize Me website. So of course, when I get back to the office, what's the first thing I do? Not file the enrollment forms that need to be filed, or send the letters to instructors that need to be sent; no, I go to simsponizeme.com. And I find a nifty photo of me off Facebook, I save it to my work computer's desktop, and then I hit "upload"...and then I wait. And wait. Watching that little donut icon spin around while it was "loading" was amusing at first, but after the first ten minutes, I just got bored. And then, ten minutes after that, it decides to tell me there was an error with the whosy-whatsits, or something. Bah! I am not meant to be a Simpsons character, I fear.

Anyway, go see the movie on Thursday at midnight. And good luck turning yourself yellow.

In other news, Weather.com is the new YouTube. See for yourself, with this video about bird thieves. (By the way, I would like to own this bird. However, as I discussed with my sister, if I trained the bird to steal "crisps" for me, then we'd end up fighting over the crisps, and the bird would probably win.)

And can I just say I was completely out of the loop on the "Kel Mitchell may or may not be dead" debate? Kel Mitchell is not dead. I know that, and I have known it since his days talking about orange soda on All That. (Which wasn't so good, by the way; Roundhouse was much better.) But I didn't know that somewhere in between, to a good majority of the world, he was dead. Just one reason why you shouldn't become a Google-searching gossip monger who lives off sites like Pop Candy. (P.S. - I heart Pop Candy.)

In honor of Kel not being dead, someone should buy these pins.

For all New Brunswick residents (or former residents of N.B. and fans of Thinisu): 138 Easton Ave., which all of us came to know and love as the home of Thinisu, is now some place called "The Hang Out." This angers me, that the restaurant replacing our beloved Thinisu is presumptuously calling itself THE hang out already. If anyone knows anything more about this, let me know. But to the owners of The Hang Out: you a presumptuous, and therefore I have a predilection to dislike you already.

And finally, this site is awesome: myopenbar.com. The bill themselves as "Your guide to free booze." This link is to the NYC version, but they have one for Chicago too, so if I end up spending $60,000 on grad school and move out to Illinois, at least I know I can still drink for free.

Vis! Vis!

So...a lot has happened since last I posted. The most important and #1 occurrence to mention: I quit my job at the Writing Center! So despite the fact that I became the poster child for the Center*, and despite the fact that the URL of this blog may not longer be literal, I will now have more free time to write, which will hopefully lead to more interesting stuff on here. This is the start of something good.

*Word on the street is, the picture has been changed. So just imagine my big ol' face plastered on the front page instead. Geez, I give my two weeks notice and the picture changes immediately! The gods of the Writing Center aren't looking too kindly on me right now, it seems.

#2: Chicago might just be my new favorite city in the country. I spent this past weekend checking out grad schools and rockin' out at Union Park for the Pitchfork Media Festival. Well, actually, the weekend included more than that...

It started, of course, with a 794 mile road trip across PA, OH, IN, and IL. On that trip, we came upon a car with a NJ license plate whose back bumper was plastered with band stickers of the Decemberists sort. "Are they going to Pitchfork, too?" we all asked ourselves. And as it turns out, they were. Our Dodge Neon full of people got so excited by this rare road find that we invited our fellow NJ hipster-mobile to dinner. Sadly, they turned us down, which just made it awkward for the next half hour of driving, because we were going pretty much the same exact speed to the same exact place using the same exact route. (It was not until later that we found out Shaun knew one of the guys in the car; and it was not until today that Nadia and I befriended the driver of the car on both Facebook and Last.fm. Friendships abound from the seeds of Pitchfork!) But in our efforts to get to know the Others while we were driving -- we held up a sign asking what part of Jersey they're from (what a typical Jersey thing to do; at least we didn't ask them, "What's your exit?") -- we discovered a new and fantastic way to pass the time while driving: surveying cars that pass you by. This can only be done with people in the backseat and a willingness to risk being the cause of a five-car pile up. But we risked it, and we ended up surveying, I'd say, over thirty cars (without causing a single fender-bender, I might add). Here are the results*:

Tom Selleck or Burt Reynolds?
Tom Selleck: 7
Burt Reynolds: 15

Ninjas or Pirates?
Ninjas: 10
Pirates: 27

*These numbers are inaccurate. They could be a gross over-exaggeration, or they could be drastically underestimated. I have no idea where the signs with our tally marks ended up once we got to Chicago, so be forewarned, I totally made the numbers up.

We had other surveys (boxers, briefs, or balls out?) and other signs (like "Ouch" for when people shunned us and didn't respond). And I must say, this helped knock down about three hours of the trip in no time. Super happy fun times.

When we finally got into the city, two Things of Great Importance happened: first, we got swindled, as we would so many times that weekend by the Chicago city bums. Our hotel (more about that in a sec) didn't have a parking lot, so we were driving around for quite some time looking for a spot. "Hey, need a spot?" some dude on a bike calls out to us. And stupidly (I'll take the blame for it, as I was the one driving) we say yes. So he bikes away, and tells us to follow him. He does indeed lead us to a spot, but immediately after we park, he asks for money "to get a hotel room for the night." Right. We end up giving this guy $20. And for what? Nothing, because all then get paranoid about leaving the car on the street, and we move it. Damn. We are suckers.

So the hotel... Originally, we had booked a single room (for five people, mind you) at the lovely-sounding (ahem) Hotel Wacker. While we were still driving, we decide to give them a call, to make sure our room was still available even though we'd be checking in late, to make sure they had a parking lot, etc. Well, hint #1 that we should probably stay somewhere else: no parking lot. Okay, we thought, not necessarily a bad thing. But then we get there, and we find it's THE most booty motel you will ever stay at in your entire life. For one thing, we wouldn't have been able to sneak in the whole of our party without looking suspicious. For another, the place had weekly rates. For another, there was some fine sexin' going on inside, which you could tell just by looking at the windows from the street. When we eventually check in to a Howard Johnsons, the check-in lady reassured us that we made the right choice not staying at Wacker. Then she gave us a discount because we got swindled by the bum. So all in all, HoJo=good, Wacker=skeevy. We should've known, when we couldn't find a website, or basically any info for that matter, about Hotel Wacker on the WWW.

On Friday, I got a chance to visit the two Chicago schools I'm considering for my MFA: the School of the Art Institute of Chicago and Columbia College. Both in the vicinity of gorgeous Millenium Park (SAIC actually being located inside the park), both being the main reasons why I fell in love with Chicago. Art school (and debt), here I come.

And if the art schools aren't enough to draw me in, this giant bean is.

This was in Millenium Park, and was a prime impetus for much picture-taking. I don't know what it's for (art for art's sake, maybe?) or if it's supposed to represent anything or what have you, but whatever. It was neat.

At night, we got drunk, of course, and then decided to be typical tourists and get some deep-dish Chicago-style pizza. So we went to Giordano's, a place that calls themselves famous. The restaurant was packed, and even though we took our order to go, it took forever to get our pizza. So while waiting, we found an abandoned pitcher of beer, and then drank it. Which explains why, the next day, when deciding on what to eat for dinner, we chose Giordano's again -- because we were too drunk to remember what it tasted the day before.

And then comes the festival itself. Here's brief rundown:

Saturday commenced with Voxtrot, who were a tad bit disappointing. Part of the reason may have been the sound system, which was rather messed up for a few sets the whole weekend. The other part was maybe their not-so-great choice of a set list. Whatever it was, it felt like something was lacking. However, they ended with "The Start of Something," which is one of my favorites by them, so even though Ramesh (who looks like an old co-worker of mine named Rahul*) was super out of breath singing it, the set ended okay. I'd be curious to see them play another show (like Siren Fest, for example) to see if this was a one-time disappointment. We stood on the sidelines for Grizzly Bear, which I regret, because they sounded really good from there, so I could just imagine how great they sounded if you were actually up front for them. Nothing so far that day, however, held a flame to Fujiya & Miyagi. Depsite performing on the tiny Balance Stage that was hidden behind the Fuse drink stand and the souvenir tents, this band stood out. Two British dudes who know how to kick it and have the power to incite that magic muse of dance that makes even the most uncoordinated of us hipsters look like we're rockin' out. (By the way: Fuse drinks and bottles of water for a buck all weekend -- another highlight, indeed.) Iron & Wine proceeded to sound too quiet for this festival (especially in light of all the sound problems), Dan Deacon and Girl Talk, who were also relegated to the Balance Stage, brought in too big a crowd to be fully enjoyed, and because we were so worn out by the time Cat Power came on, her set wasn't fully appreciated. We left before Yoko Ono played, but as people informed us on Sunday, we didn't miss much besides her urging to say "I love you" to the sky by flashing flashlight beams into the air. Yikes. She's crazy.

MVP of the Day: Fujiya & Miyagi.

*Funny side note about Ramesh & Rahul: Long ago, Rahul worked with Ramesh at a day care center in Austin, TX. Apparently, everyone got the two of them confused, and this pissed the hell out of Rahul, and one day the two got into a big fight. So then Rahul came to work at the Writing Center with me. So even though they do sort of look alike, you can't ever bring this to Rahul's attention, or he will punch you.

Sunday started with Deerhunter, followed by Menomena (like that Muppets song, you know? Me-na-me-na do doo do-doo-doo). But frankly, their sets are not nearly as memorable as they could have been, had it not been for the fact that Jamie Lidell played. Jamie is a dorky white guy who wears thick black rimmed glasses and unimpressive clothes...until he starts his set, and comes out wearing gold lamé robes and shiny foil things taped to a headwrap on his head. And then there is his voice--the most soulful, groovy, "I feel the Lord in me!" sound you'll hear from a white person, ever. You won't even have time to focus on the fact that all of his music is digitized (on stage, he plays with no band) because you will be so enthralled by his power of heart-pounding soul. Although his album is good, his live performance is even better, and this would have snagged him Sunday MVP status, had it not been for the fact that Of Montreal played, and played well. Better than well; they were amazing. Awesome, I would even say (which we learned from people we met from Massachusetts that this is the Jersey equivalent of Boston's "wicked.") Their set was underscored by a slew of theatrics, but for them, it works. We waited for three hours to get an up-front spot for them (missing The Sea and Cake and Stephen Malkmus in the process [which is a shame, because I hear Stephen played some Pavement, and that would've been great to hear], but it was worth it. Kevin Barnes' voice sounds exactly as it does on his albums, and his butt looks exactly like what we expected. They ended (pre-encore) with "The Party's Crashing Us," which is in my top five favorite O.M. songs, and then they did a pretty wicked (ha) cover of The Kinks' "All Day & All of the Night" for an encore. If Nina the tigress wasn't in the picture, I would pursue an affair with Kevin Barnes. Perhaps then I'd get a song like Eva did. Of Montreal overshadowed The New Pornographers for me (being short and only being able to see TNP on a screen didn't help), so my time at Pitchfork was more or less at an end. Before leaving Union Park, I paid a dollar for an ear of corn, I bought a Broken Social Scene poster at the rather rockin' art tents they had, and then we called it quits. We packed up our things, brushed the dust off our feet, and started the long ride home to Jersey.

MVP of the Day: Of Montreal, followed very closely by Jamie Lidell.

With that being said, here's the real reason why I wanted to post today: The Dancin' Doughboy. Never be bored again with this fascinatingly amusing piece of Flash Player magic.

Absum.

So for various reasons, I've been slacking in my posting -- one of the reasons being that, instead of writing on a website of my own, I've been writing on thisisby.us, a nifty little website that allows writers to post their work (fiction, poetry, random thoughts on what you had for breakfast that morning) and get paid for it. Of course, you only get paid about two cents for every twenty votes or whatever, and you can only earn money for the first two days that your work is posted; but hey, it was something new and interesting and different that caught my attention and sucked me in for a week or so. My name on there is ally_is_short on there; vote for me, "like" me, do whatever the site allows you to do to me. (If you want to join, go through this link; I'll earn an extra two and a half cents for it! Help me pay for one bite of my dinner, or something.)

Another reason is that I've joined a group blog, What I've Been Looking For. Inspired by the blog of Mindy Kaling from The Office (which I now read obsessively, thus cutting into my own blog-posting time even more), it's a forum for posting things that we want, things that we find, or things that we buy that are good. And then we share them with the world. Fun, right?

Yet another reason is that instead of writing on a website of my own, I've been viewing websites of other people. So, I'm posting a list of some of those sites for your surfing pleasure. Most of these sites are referred to me by my sister, or random email listserves I somehow got signed up for, or by reading a NY Times article and searching things like 'Librarian Avengers' from there. Check these out:

Toothpaste for Dinner. A very simplistic webcomic that's sometimes cute, sometimes political, and quite silly. My favorites include Turtle Time and Any Animal.

XKCD. Another webcomic by a super smart guy who used to work for NASA. It sometimes has mathematical and sciencey references that go over my head (especially some of the older ones) but for the most part, it's cute, romantic, and nice. The art is what stands out most, I believe; it's both really simple and really amazing at the same time. I sent this one to my boyfriend, and although I wasn't there when he read it, I like to assume that he went, "Aww."

Quiltsryche. Evil rock quilts. Oh my god. They're expensive, but they're also fucking EVIL ROCK QUILTS!!

Restaurant.com. This site sounds too good to be true; apparently, they sell gift certificates to restaurants for cheaper than they're worth. As in, get a $10 gift certificate for 3 bucks. Or a $25 gift certificate for $10. See? It's ridiculous. Who knew the world actually cared about poor college students and their never-ending quest to save money yet still pig out?

Bunny & Hedgehog. A random image, probably Photoshopped. Still, you can't deny the funny.

The Pirate Desk Manager. What I'd do if I quit my desk job, too. A webcomic.

Holly Eats.com. A website by a guy named Holly (I know, I don't know what his parents were thinking, either) who drives around the country in search of places with cheap, good food. Greasy spoons, diners, roadside rest stops, and the like. He's covered a few places in New Jersey, including the Circus Drive-In, which is right down the road from me in Belmar. Plus, the rating system he uses to rank the places he visits is in grease stains. Wow. You feel your arteries clogging already, now, don't you.

The Perry Bible Fellowship. More silly webcomics. Incredibly random. My favorites are about kitties, puppies, and pigs.

Movie Scripts and Screenplays. I'm currently in the midst of attempting to write a screenplay. In my Google searching for the correct format of a screenplay, I stumbled upon this site, and found it to be an awesome way to pass the time. It's amazing all the little details a screenwriter adds to a script that the audience might never even pick up on. I was most captivated by the script for The Royal Tenenbaums.

And finally, this:

Indeed.

De mortuis nil nisi bonum.

Sad day!

Aestivus estivus.

Another week down. Time flies; are you having fun yet?

Today is the first day of summer, so in honor, here is an ode to Crocodile Mile:

The child within me
still cracks a smile
When I think of summers past
and recall Crocodile Mile.
So thrilling to receive,
a present too fantastic.
There's no better scent
than the smell of fresh plastic.
All purple and yellow,
spread out in the yard.
To control my excitement
was ever so hard.

But the time would always come
for that fast-paced trip on down,
And the immediate result
was always a smile-turned-frown,
For little do they tell you
on the cover of that box
That when you run and slide and hit the bump,
you get a stomachful of rocks.

So what my inner-child learned
from that ever-fateful ride
For summer's in the future:
Instead try a Slip 'n Slide.

(FYI, Slip 'n Slide was no winner, either. To avoid all injury, avoid all at-home water slides. Except maybe this one. [Kids are spoiled these days, no?])

And just because...Beware! The dramatic chipmunk!

Res severa est verum gaudium.

The act of licking off the caramel that sticks to the lid of a cup that holds a caramel macchiato makes me happy.

So do cats that have bad grammar. Here's a site for your viewing pleasure if you're looking for ways to pass the time: I Can Has Cheezburger? It's one of those for-the-sake-of-cuteness sites that can look bad if your boss catches you reading it while at work, but there's something so damn alluring about a mother cat who's licking her baby and says, "My son, he has a flavor." How do kitschy pop culture sites like this catch on? I have no idea. But I'm glad I have a hand in spreading the word.

If you're not working this summer, consider volunteering your time to a good cause: being a zombie. Craigslist has something for everyone!

In other news, Lily Allen is kind of shallow. In fact, quite shallow. I stumbled upon her MySpace blog (not that I check out MySpace, or anything) and if this is really her, then she's really shallow. She talks a lot about manicures and spas. And her song "Knock 'Em Out" is rather annoying. I have an odd penchant for disliking female singers, but I actually gave Lily a chance, let "Smile" get stuck in my head every on more than one occasion. But alas, Lily, you're annoying.

Free shows at McCarren Park Pool start this Sunday. Pools are good. Free is even better. AND there's music. Therefore, life is good. Here are some of the key shows to mark on your calendar (don't forget to RSVP):

-- July 1: Man Man w/ Illinois and Dengue Fever (I don't know the latter two bands, but Man Man is crazy, yo, and they have a song in which they sound like pirates. Pirates are coolz.)
-- July 15: Ponderosa Stomp, Look Out Brooklyn! Version w/ performances by Tommy McClain (backed by Yo La Tengo), among others (Yo La Tengo is neat-o; enough of a reason to go to this show.)
-- July 29: TV on the Radio (Return to Cookie Mountain was good -- gritty, catchy, different. I don't know how they are live, but what better way to find out than a free show?)
-- August 5: Blonde Redhead & I'm From Barcelona w/ The Coydogs & The Rub DJs feat. Morse Code (Blonde Redhead is intriguing, and I'm From Barcelona take 50 happy pills a day, and the happy is contagious. Their sort-of self-titled song is the equivalent of a giant chocolate chip cookie, or a bunny rabbit holding a daisy.)
-- August 12: Ted Leo & The Pharmacists, The Thermals, Birds of Avalon (Mr. Leo is in my top ten best live performers in the world; I've never seen someone put so much into a single show. And The Thermals last album, The Body, The Blood, The Machine, is amazing. Simply amazing. Every time I listen to it, I say, "Wow, this is amazing." So even though I've heard they're not great in concert, I'd say it's worth risking a free show to see them. And I'd don't know much by Birds of Avalon, but they list themselves on their MySpace page as "psychadelic" and "progressive." Groovy.)

Check the Pool Party website often, because certain line-ups have yet to be announced.

And for further research...
New-ish band of the moment: Cold War Kids. The lead singer's voice is verging-on-girly high pitched, but I've been hearing "Hang Me Up to Dry" off their Up in Rags EP every day, and despite the fact that sometimes a single station will play it twice within a four-hour span (and that's just annoying), I don't mind, because it's good. "Saint John," off the same EP -- also good. Plus, they're Australian, and Australians have neat accents, so even though you don't hear accents when people sing, check them out.
New-ish song that's good to sing while driving on a highway with the windows down: "Phantom Limb," The Shins. Good to sing with the windows down specifically at the "ohhh-oh-ohhh, oh-ohhh" part near the end; Good to sing with the windows down specifically while driving on a highway because if you have a bad voice, no one can really hear it at speeds of 65+ mph, so in your head, you can pretend you sound like James Mercer.
Old-ish song that's so good you should download it from Soulseek right now: "Oh, You Pretty Things!," David Bowie. Just because.

Say ooh, la la, sassoon, that's right.

Post tenebras lux.

It's Thursday, and almost 5 o'clock. That means it's almost the weekend for this girl.

I begin an internship with Glass Magazine tomorrow, and I'm hoping my weekly trips into NYC will turn into a new feature focusing on interesting things seen and heard around the city. I have my camera packed, and I'm sure enough interesting/crazy/weird people will be around to make blog-worthy things happen for me to record. Like the time a homeless man almost sat on me on the subway. That was fun!

In other news, They Might Be Giants have a new album coming out, and you can listen to it here -- it's a super awesome, super exclusive pre-release album of The Else.

This weekend, go see Hedwig and the Angry Inch at the Baronet Theatre in Asbury Park this Saturday at 8pm (tix $10 in advance/$15 at the door). If you've seen the movie about the glam rock god-turned-goddess (just about), go see it in its original stage format, revived with Aaron Berk as Hedwig. It's gotten good reviews. If you haven't seen the movie, watch it and have its music get stuck in your head. For more info on the theater, click here.

Last night, in an attempt to find the music video for "I Will Follow You Into the Dark," I stumbled upon a YouTube series called We Need Girlfriends, and it strangely pulled me in. It's about three guys in NYC who've just graduated from college and have had their long-time girlfriends leave them. It can be a bit trite at times, but it makes me giggle, and the guys on it are kinda cute. Check it out when you find yourself surfing around YouTube.

(I never found the music video, by the way. Just a bunch of people covering it. Which was disappointing. I don't even know why I wanted to watch the video in the first place. I think it was because I saw someone in New Brunswick yesterday who I thought looked like the singer from Death Cab, but I wasn't sure because I wasn't sure what the singer from Death Cab really looked like, so I needed to check, and rather than do a Google Image search, I figured, let me hear the song AND see what the guy looks like. It didn't happen, though, and I was sad.)

Gay marriage isn't being banned in Massachusetts. It almost was, but now it's not. That's good, just in case I decide to become a lesbian.

It's not officially summer yet in Mother Nature's terms, but I just wanted to remind everyone about Fla-Vor-Ice, that sugary, frozen treat that succeeds at simultaneously being gross and awesome at the same time. All you taste is plastic for the first few bites, but it's worth it in the end, when the ice melts into pure sugar syrup and you get to simply drink it. In fact, don't bother freezing them at all! Just drink straight out of the box. Great as a mixer for alcoholic drinks and shots.

And Mr. Wizard is still dead. 'Tis a sad, sad time in our world.

Bonus Res.

Suggestions, and things that are good.
This is a list of exactly that: suggestions of good things to investigate and become deeply involved with to the point of obsession, or love, at least. I will add to this list periodically, I'm sure, particularly when I realize that something is great and I had forgotten about it, or when I get introduced to something so great that I'm just bursting with happy and I need to share it because otherwise I'd explode. Or throw a box of plastic knives.

Human Giant.
This new sketch comedy show on MTV (Thursdays at 10:30pm/9:30c) is top quality stuff. Definitely the best of new comedy out there, particularly in comparison to Fuse's "The Whitest Kids U Know." It's silly, it's random, it's the kind of jokes you make with your own friends but just a little funnier and caught on film. Plus, you can download and watch all of their sketches on their website. How awesome are these guys? So very. (Check out "Commercial Jingles" & "Doritos Time.")

Bang Camaro.
An up and coming band out of Boston that has a dude chorus and is featured on Guitar Hero 2. These guys are crazy, yo, and their repertoire extends far outside of "Push Push (Lady Lightning)." If you haven't unlocked this song yet, go do so now. If you have, go buy their album now. If you have their album, go feel macho and listen to it right now. Go.

Regina Spektor's voice.
This girl, right here, is amazing. Her voice is so clear, pure, and naturally beautiful, plus she's hot. I would consider becoming a lesbian for her, if a relationship for feasible. In fact, I'd consider it just to hear her voice more often. If everyone in the world could sing like her, flowers would never wilt and everyone would own a puppy.

Puppies and Kittens.
They will forever be good things. Check out www.petfinder.com and www.1800saveapet.com for things that make you go "aww."

Otters holding hands.
The best that YouTube has to offer. Watching this would convert Darth Vader to the light side.

Girl gets a kick out of breakdancing.
Another highly recommended YouTube watch, especially if you hate kids. Babies suck!

Pitchfork Festival.
If you're even a little bit indie-hipster, you probably read PitchforkMedia.com. But check out this festival in Chicago this summer to transcend indie-poseur status and work your way up the hipster hierarchy. Tickets are cheap ($50 for a three-day pass!), as is food and drink, so you'll save plenty of money that you can later spend on a pair of Diesel jeans or Buddy Holly glasses. Yoko Ono is headlining this year, which is kind of strange, but you'll also hear from Cat Power, Iron and Wine, Voxtrot, Girl Talk, The New Pornographers, Stephen Malkmus, Of Montreal, The Sea and Cake, and Sonic Youth (who's playing Daydream Nation in its entirety.)

Paula Deen.
I wish this woman was my grandmother. She's a fine purveyor of good ol' homestyle country cookin' (i.e. fried, fatty, heart-attack-inducing eats), but she doesn't just know how to make the food, she knows how to enjoy it, too. You can tell she's having a good time on her shows, even though it's a little creepy when she brings on young Marines and tries to flirt with them. Watch her shows, read her book, wish that you were eating her food and she was your grandmother, too.

MySpace for the literary-minded.
Sites like Dust Jacket Review and goodreads are making Internet socializing more respectable by incorporating books into the deal. Or maybe its just a front for nerds who are looking for dates. Either way, it's addictive.

Trapped in the Closet.
R. Kelly believes he's doing the world a great service by sharing his talents with through world through this piece of art that he calls a hip-hopera. You wouldn't believe how ridiculous one man's idea of "art" can be until you watch this. Be prepared for constant rhyming and repeated moments of asking yourself, "What the...?" If you're adventurous, buy the DVD and watch the director's commentary, and be as wowed as R. Kelly is about his work.

Pocketwatches.
They make you look like a train conductor. Train conductors are cool!

Caribou Coffee Granola Bars.
This pepped-up version of your average granola bar ain't so average. It's made with coffee inside the bars, like those cereal and milk bars that have "real milk" in them, for those days that you're running late to work and can't stop at Dunkin' Donuts. I don't know if it actually has enough coffee to get you through the day, but it psychologically convinces you that you'll be caffeinated enough from eating it.

The Little Prince.
This book... it can't really be squished into one category. It's part children's book, part inspirational guide for adults who've separated from their inner child, part love story. But it's altogether beautiful, and can be read repeatedly and not lose its charm. A friend of mine used to carry a copy around in his pocket to read whenever he had to wait around for something; I recommend doing that. I also recommend The Tale of The Rose, which gives a bit of background on Antoine de Saint-Exupéry from the eyes of his wife.

Living Arts Tattoo.
New Hope, Pa. is awesome in general, but if you're looking for your next (or your first) tattoo, this is the place to go. I've gotten two done here already, and of the three places I've gone for the five tattoos I have, I've had the best experience here. My fiancé has gotten one from here, as did one of my best friends, who has a detailed picture of the Lithuanian crest on his back which looks amazing. They guys are nice, the place is super clean, and you can tell everyone's serious about their work, and is good at it, too.

Mr. Wizard.
He died today, at the age of 89. I never liked watching his show as a kid, and I grew up to study English as a result, but he's still a part of my childhood, and the fact that he hosted Watch Mr. Wizard on NBC in the 1950s and '60s and then went on to do Mr. Wizard's World on Nickelodeon in the '80s and '90s is just damn impressive. Over four decades of wizardry is a whole lotta science.

R.I.P. Don Herbert.

Exordium.

Blogs. They're everywhere these days, and they've grown mightily from the high school-ish LiveJournals of yesteryear. No more is Jenny posting cryptic messages ridden with song lyrics about how Bobby doesn't like her and likes Sue instead. Well, maybe Jenny is, but joining her are respectable news channels like CBS, CNN, and ABC, and well known professionals in the politics, sports, music, and arts fields. Moby has a blog. Al Roker has a blog (it's very, uh, happy.) Jaime Oliver has a blog. Neil Gaiman has a blog. Even Dr. Sanjay Gupta has a blog! You know, that guy whose name seems to pop up in every news clip about medicine that's on TV. (For an impressively comprehensive list of famous people's blogs, go here.)

So, I've decided to give in and create a (semi) respectable blog of my own. Not that I'm famous. Yet. But just in case I get a book on the New York Times Bestseller list one day, I want to give my fans something to read while they're waiting for my next novel to come out and are as bored at work then as I am now.

Cheers!